Am I 29?

I just turned 29!!! But I never felt like I am. I've been through a lot in my 29 years but despite all those failures, trials i still feel blessed.

I've kept flashing back the things that I've done. Contemplating whether I've grown as a person, whether I've learned from it, and whether it helped me to become a better me. As i scan down the pages of my life, I realized that all the things that I have been said and done are the result of what and who I am now.

A stronger me. A better me. A soulful me. A free-spirited me. A mature me. and most of all a professional me. All those where all products of a roller coaster ride of my so-called life. I have never felt old nor feel like i'm nearing the big THREE ZERO, because everything that surrounds me makes me feel young and restless.

For the very least of me, turning to my middle adulthood stage in life, I try to examine my gestures, my work ethics and my relationships to my colleagues if I am happy, contented or not. I always have this feeling that i'm trapped in a place that I never liked. A place that I could not see my self doing for the rest of my life. A place that I can never call home. Now, that i'm near 3-0. I tried to see my self as an adult and imagining doing something different from what i've been doing for the past 9 years. I wanted to be fulfilled with my life, someone that i can be happy and would not dream and long for any other ways to earn living.

29 for me is still a young age, and I know I still have a loooooonnnnggg to go. There would be a lot of times that I would take different paths. A path to which a strange to me, a path that might lead me to a life that would accept and love me. A life that i long for. A life that i dream so much. A life that I wanted. It would never be a path full of roses, but it would be a path full of thorns to take life seriously and be cautioned, that it would and never will be easy at all.

The roller coaster ride had teaches me how to live a life. Be contented with what i have. I teaches me to trust myself and go for the betterment of my entire life. It teaches me to be patient and learn to wait if it was not for me. It teaches me to trust God, because he gives you gift when it is rightfully yours.

the so-called birthday girl =)

the TEAM of my surprise birthday party.... [in my next blog]